Apostrophes 101

I like apostrophes a lot.  But then I like all punctuation marks. The reason I like apostrophes so much, though, is because the people who use them often tend to use them too enthusiastically.

Haven't we all see signs advertising "Wine's and Spirit's"?  "Bacon, Egg's and Pancake's"?

And then there are the people who seem to be afraid of the little squiggle and don't use apostrophes at all. You know, the folks who type "cant" for "can't" and "an hours wages" instead of "an hour's wages"?

The apostrophe is a crooked little mark that looks exactly like a comma, but, of course, plays a much different role. As I've already said, the apostrophe is used in eight different applications, and perhaps that's why it's misused so regularly.

Inevitably, when you look at websites that feature funny punctuation errors in signage, most of the mistakes involve apostrophes. "Its" and "it's" are probably the most regularly confused words in the English language,

And rightly so. They look almost identical, don't they?

But their meaning is worlds apart.

I'm sure nobody cares when I confess that my pet peeve as a teacher is the misuse of these two words. But it really bugs me that almost no one gets them right (consistently right, I mean). Of course "autocorrect" often makes these mistakes for you, and it takes an astute writer to keep checking that his correct word hasn't automatically morphed into an incorrect form.

But really, it's all very simple.

"Its" is always the possessive form of the gender neutral pronoun "it."

Oregon is coastal and its climate is variable.
Why don't you plan to visit its main tourist spots?

"It's" is always a contraction of two words: "it"and "is."  Period.

See? Simple.

The weather outside is frightful. It's going to rain buckets. (It is going to rain buckets).
It's always a good idea to carry an umbrella when it's threatening rain.
(It is always a good idea to carry an umbrella when it is threatening rain).