Ricky Gervais Puts His Foot in It

Friday, October 19, 2013.

I've been far too busy writing my books and promoting them on Facebook, Twitter and through my writing blog, so I haven't had a chance to post anything about punctuation for weeks. Now I'm going to cheat a bit and copy a blog post sent to me by Daily Writing Tips.

It's about my favourite punctuation mistake: the it's/its dilemma.

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The Volatile Nature of It’s Blasphemy: A law to protect an All-Powerful, supernatural Deity from getting it’s feelings hurt. As you might expect, this quip by Ricky Gervais stirred strong responses when it was posted on Facebook. Some commenters were amused by it, but others most definitely were not. What caught my attention was not the heated religious discussion that Gervais’s irreverent comment provoked, but the grammatical scuffle that erupted over his erroneous use of it’s. Commenters were able to “Like” individual replies. The first reader to point out that “it’s feelings” should read “its feelings” received 103 Likes. The comment that dismissed the objection–“It’s basic grammar and was probably a typo. Who cares?”–received only 7 Likes. Is it too much to hope that this little poll–unscientific as it is–suggests that members of the reading public who care about the correct use of it’s may outnumber those who don’t? Probably. Something this exchange does illustrate is that typographical errors, misspellings, and grammatical faults distract readers from serious discussions–even in that land of linguistic anarchy we call “social media.” I’d be lying if I said I’ve never typed it’s where the context called for its. I’ve probably even allowed at least one disgraceful it’s to slip into print. For that reason, I must be grateful to the class of readers who can give a misused it’s the benefit of the doubt. Such tolerant folks assume it must be an unintended typo. After all, doesn’t everyone know that it’s is a contraction of it is and not a possessive adjective? Alas, some typos are more forgivable than others, even in comment threads. The accidental typing of hte or teh for the, for example, will go unremarked by all but the most mean-spirited nit-picking troll. It’s for its, on the other hand, elicits a visceral reaction in some readers. They can’t help it. No matter how deep or serious a discussion, a misplaced it’s or its will almost certainly bring it to a grinding halt. Bottomline: Whether you think it matters or not, if you want to keep readers’ attention focused on the topic at hand, make sure you haven’t misused it’s before clicking “Reply” or “Submit.” Original Post: The Volatile Nature of It’s

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Serena Janes

Visit my website here. http://www.serenajanes.com 

Commas for joining sentence elements

Sounds a scintillating subject, doesn't it? But it gives me the opportunity to discuss another pet peeve, second only to the misuse of the apostrophe in the it's/its confusion I treated in an earlier post.

A comma is necessary when two complete sentences are joined with a conjunction such as for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so and while.

An easy way to remember these conjunctions is by using the acronym FANBOYS (and add  the straggling W).

For example:
I wanted to feed my azaleas, but the fertilizer bin was empty.
Florence tried to give her hero admirable qualities, so her readers would fall in love with him.
My dog circled my desk incessantly, yet I was too busy typing to notice.
Children can't wait to grow up, while all parents want to do is prolong their childhood.

Now this is all pretty straightforward, and most writers don't have a problem sticking a comma into their sentence before the FANBOYSW conjunction. But sometimes a writer decides to omit the conjunction and use only the lone comma to join the two halves of his sentence. Then we have--wait for it--Pet Peeve #2: The Comma Splice.

I wanted to feed my azaleas, the fertilizer bin was empty. 

Now this sentence makes sense, but it's still grammatically incorrect. The writer (that's me) has joined two complete sentences with a comma. A no-no. A semi-colon can be used in place of the comma, but that's another story, and will have to wait for another day.

 I could have broken my comma splice into two complete sentences. That would work.

But I cannot, ever, join two complete sentences with only a comma. I need one of the FANBOYSW to help.

And, odd as it may sound, comma splices are as common as dirt in my part of the world. I'd go as far as saying that the comma splice is probably the single biggest grammar error I see when I grade student papers. And it doesn't matter whether the student writer is 18 or 80--comma splices litter their work, distracting and often confusing the reader.

Using Commas with Adverbs

In my last post I stated that commas are required to separate multiple adjectives if the word and could be substituted for the comma in question.

The rain fell heavily, steadily and noisily.
(The rain fell heavily and steadily and noisily. None of these adverbs is any more important than the others: they each modify the verb fell in equal measure.

Today, I'll show how the same rule applies for commas used to separate adverbs. Adverbs can be tricky, so I'll define them first.

An adverb is a word that modifies, explains or limits a verb, adjective or another adverb.

The dog barked softly. (Softly modifies the verb barked).

The dog barked softly, repetitively and ceaselessly. (Here, I've separated the first two adverbs with a comma. A comma after the word ceaselessly is optional).

And note that the comma in the last example could be replaced by the word and.

Now look at an example that does not require a comma to separate two adverbs:
Her eye shadow was really too blue for her complexion.
(The adverb really modifies the adverb too--which modifies the adjective blue).

In this example, you couldn't use the word and between the words really and too. Therefore, a comma isn't required.

I'll take this up a notch in future postings when I discuss how adverbial phrases and adverbial clauses are usually separated from the rest of the sentence by a comma.

I'm looking forward to the weekend here in beautiful British Columbia. We're hosting an 80th birthday party for my mother, and she wanted a traditional Danish smorgasbord. So I'm busy roasting meats and making meatballs for the hundreds of open-faced sandwiches we'll need for the feast. Luckily I have three sisters to help!
Serena
serenajanes.com

Using commas with adjectives

Most writers seem to think that commas are always used to separate all elements in a list. If you're listing words that happen to be nouns, or noun (or prepositional)  phrases, then you'd be correct to use the comma separator between them.

I planted radishes, beets, cabbages and leeks.
(This lists four nouns, and note that I didn't use an Oxford comma).

Happiness might be found over the rainbow, behind the kitchen door or under the carpet.
(This is a list of three prepositional phrases).

Don't forget to buy green apples, red plums and a blue and white tablecloth. 
(And this is a list of three noun phrases).

If, however, you are using two or more adjectives to modify a noun or pronoun, you might--or might not-- require a comma to separate them. The rule has it that a comma is necessary where the word and would be appropriate, and when the modifiers are each modifying the same word to the same degree.

I know that sounds a bit tricky, so let me explain through examples.

My hero is tall, dark and slightly disfigured.  
(He is tall and dark and slightly disfigured. None of these modifiers is any more important than the others.)

But my heroine is perfectly proportioned, good-natured and rich.  
(Again, all three adjectives modify the word heroine in equal measure).

But sometimes two or more adjectives do not require a comma to separate them. Each case is slightly different, so you have to pay attention.

The endangered burrowing owl is making a comeback in some areas.
(No comma is needed between the word endangered and the word burrowing because these adjectives modify the word owl together. You wouldn't write, The endangered and burrowing owl...).

The quaint old village of Windermere bristles with tourists in the summer.
(Again, you wouldn't write, The quaint and old village...).

I can make the same case for using two or more adverbs to modify a verb, adjective, or another adverb.

And I'll do this in my next post.

Commas for Lists

I didn't know until today that commas are among the oldest of our modern punctuation marks, having been "invented" in stages by the Italians in the 15th and 16th centuries. According to punctuation guru Lynne Truss, commas serve two main functions: to indicate the grammar of a sentence and to emphasize elements such as "rhythm, direction, pitch, tone and flow."

Probably the first thing you learned about commas was that they're required to separate elements in a list. It's quite a simple rule, and generally doesn't lead to any discussion or disagreement, except in the case of the Oxford comma, which I defined in my last post. This rule is an example of a comma illuminating the grammar of a sentence.

Sometimes a list can be quite complex, however. Some sentences are made up of lists of phrases that contain other commas. This is where some writers might begin to worry about what they're doing.

Take a look at this example.

Spring is the busiest time for gardeners because they must plan their method of attack, prepare sites, fork compost, clear off mulch and other less valuable debris, divide perennials, prune trees, shrubs and vines, and sow seeds.

Note that I've used the Oxford comma here (the comma after the word vines) because I want to do all I can to aid my reader's comprehension.

In sentences like this one, a semi-colon could be employed to separate the various phrases from one another. But don't worry about that now. I'm getting ahead of myself. I won't be discussing semi-colons for weeks yet.

When using a comma to separate the items in a list, the rule is that the comma should be able to replace the word and or or.

In the gardening example above, the list-separating commas could all be replaced with the word and.
Except for the Oxford comma, of course. It's the exception to the rule.

Next time, I'll talk about using commas as list-separators when the list is made up of adjectives. I hope it will be an informative, useful and interesting post. (For some reason I didn't feel like using the Oxford comma here. Isn't English a wonderful language?)

The Oxford Comma

I've neglected my blog because I've been finishing a sequel to my novel, Cult of the Black Virgin. This was my first novel, and it just got a four-star review, posted on Goodreads, so I'm encouraged. Publishers and readers seem to like sequels, and I'll be writing two. The first, Revenge of the Black Virgin, should be finished in a few weeks.

When I started this blog I said I was frustrated because I wasn't permitted to ue semi-colons and colons in my work. Apparently, readers of romance don't like sophisticated sentence structure, so I have to keep it simple. Commas are okay, though. I mean, really, commas are absolutely necessary in written English.

So, the next dozen or so postings are going to discuss commas.

First off, I'll introduce the Oxford comma (also known as the Harvard comma).

The Oxford comma is a formal name for the series or serial comma used before a co-ordinating conjunction (usually and, or, and nor) in a list of three or more things.

For example: I had to remove all the colons, semi-colons, and parentheses from my manuscript.

The Oxford, or serial, comma is the comma after the word semi-colons. It's often considered an optional comma, but care should be taken that it doesn't cause ambiguity. If you use it, the result may be ambiguous, and if you omit it you may cause confusion for another reason.

For example, note the difference in the two following sentences:

 My first novel is dedicated to my teachers, Margaret Atwood, and John Updike. 
 My first novel is dedicated to my teachers, Margaret Atwood and John Updike.

See what a difference a comma can make!
In the first, I dedicate my book to my teachers and two specific writers. In the second, I dedicate the book to the two writers who were my teachers.
So what am I trying to say? I'd better be clear about it or else someone's going to have hurt feelings.

The Oxford comma is probably more commonly used  in North America than it is in Britain these days. It's endorsed by the Chicago Manual of Style in the U.S. and both the Oxford University Press (hence the name) and Fowler's in the U.K.

So whether you opt to use it regularly or not, keep two things in mind. First, be consistent. If you use it once, you'll need to use it throughout your written piece. And secondly, make sure your comma doesn't alter your meaning or lead to ambiguity.

More about commas and ambiguity next time.

Hello to my readers!

I'm pretty excited that my blog is being read by people from all over the world. You might notice I allowed myself the luxury of using an exclamation mark in my title today. Warning: I'm going to use a few more!

I'm especially interested in reaching readers from some of the countries I've visited recently. Because I live on the extreme edge of western Canada, I often feel isolated from much of the world. Hello Turkey! Hello Italy! Greetings Spain and Portugal! Serbia, too!

Why don't you drop me a line? Leave me a comment?

Serena Janes
serenajanes.com

Methinks thou dost exclaim too much!

Like ellipses, exclamation marks are often over-used by enthusiastic writers. When we want to add a sense of urgency or excitement to our writing, like spices in a recipe, a little goes a long way.

Exclamation marks are most commonly used to close an emphatic declaration. For example: My home town is so small it isn't even on a Google map!

They're also used with interjections, like "Great!" and  imperatives or commands, like "Slow down! Stop!" Note that a period is not required if an exclamation mark closes a sentence.

Generally, exclamation points should be reserved for informal writing.

My position on exclaiming is best illustrated by the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Remember that? The first time he cried out to warn the town about a lurking wolf, he was just kidding around. The second time, ditto. But when a real wolf appeared, his cries for help went unheeded. Everyone was accustomed to his false alarms, and paid no attention.

Well the same can be said for over-using the exclamation mark. Use one, and your reader understands that your words are meant to express excitement! Use another one, and the excitement continues! By the time the third one appears, the sense of urgency you hoped to convey is starting to wane!

Using any more than three--unless you're crafting a pretty intense thriller--is usually just silly!

If you must, you can use more than one exclamation mark at a time to end to express an intense
degree of emotion!!! But, again, not in formal writing, please!

You can also use exclamation marks (!) within sentences. In this example, the exclamation mark inside parentheses is meant to emphasize the words "exclamation marks."

And if you want a single word or a phrase to express emotion, you can use parentheses or dashes to set them off from the rest of the sentence, and insert an exclamation mark.

Here are some examples:

The air teemed with rain--buckets of it!--and we were soaked through instantly.
You should watch your speed (it's only 30 mph!) on that stretch of road.

Sometimes you'll see an exclamation mark used together with a question mark. Do you really think this is a good idea?!  Maybe, again, in some types of informal writing.

Lastly, exclamation marks are useful in expressing sarcasm. I hope you found this posting exceptionally (!) illuminating!

Serena Janes
serenajanes.com

The Informal Ellipses

In my last post I distinguished between ellipses used in formal writing--like legal documents or academic papers--and ellipses used in informal writing. In casual writing, ellipses are usually employed to suggest a pause, or some sort of emotion or state of mind. In this case, the ellipsis looks the same, but it's not meant to indicate omission of one or more words.

When we text, write emails, personal letters, or fiction, ellipses can add a range of meaning to our expressions. First of all, ellipses can indicate an unfinished thought, or a trailing off into silence.

Like this: She hadn't ever given politics much thought, but then . . . .

Notice the ellipsis is followed by a period because it falls at the end of the sentence.

Ellipses are also useful for indicating the passage of time, or an unfinished list.

For example: The minutes ticked . . . and ticked, adding up to hours, days, weeks, . . . .

Lastly, ellipses are great for suggesting an awkward or temporary silence within or between sentences. They might indicate faltering or fragmented speech caused by confusion, uncertainty, or strong emotion.

For example: I can't believe it . . . what they did to me.  It was so . . . unfair!

Note that a dash could be used instead of the first ellipsis in the above example. But my sources suggest that dashes should be reserved for stronger, more emphatic pauses within a sentence.

The last thing I want to say about ellipses is to warn against their over-use. When summarizing material, it's usually better to paraphrase than quote extensively, using too many ellipses. They tend to annoy readers.

That's especially true in informal writing. Overuse tends to make even our most casual writing seem vague, disjointed, or wishy-washy.

A friend sent me the following link to a BBC article about a new grammar test being implemented in British schools. Check it out.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22403731

Ellipses Demystified

I've noticed a trend in student writing to over-use the ellipsis (plural ellipses), also known as the suspension point, the points of ellipsis, the periods of ellipsis or just plain old dot-dot-dot.

The main problem, as I see it, is that students often cannot discern between formal or academic writing (that requires ellipses to indicate omission of material), and informal writing (that allows ellipses to suggest emotions).

Let's start with ellipses in a formal context. The word ellipses in Ancient Greek means omission, or falling short. It's required in academic and legal writing to indicate that a word, sentence or section has been omitted when the writer is copying/quoting text. An ellipsis is written as three periods.

For example, see how I use two ellipses to summarize a sentence without changing its meaning.

Original sentence: The candidates worked a long, hard, excruciatingly demanding campaign throughout the entire month of May.

Summary: The candidates worked a . . . demanding campaign throughout . . . May.

Notice that I've left a space on either side of the ellipses, and separated each dot or period with a space. Be aware, however, that some publishing houses prefer no spaces between the dots, and write ellipses like this: The candidates worked a ... demanding campaign throughout ... May.

But it gets trickier.

It's not necessary to use an ellipsis at the beginning of a sentence, even if we've omitted one or more words.

Incorrect:  . . . candidates worked . . . throughout May.
Correct:  [C]andidates worked . . . throughout May. (I'll address square brackets in a later post).

And if we omit one or more words at the end of a sentence, we add a period after the ellipsis.

 The candidates worked a . . . demanding campaign . . . .

That's right. Type four periods in a row, with spaces between.

What if we're omitting more than one word from our original source? Then we must place the ellipsis between the preceding and following sentences, with a space on either side, to avoid confusion.

Example: All candidates expect to be on the road for weeks at a time. . . . A political career must take its toll on family life.

In the above passage, I've used an ellipsis to indicate that I've omitted one or more sentences that fell between the word time and the word A.

There's one more handy dandy application of ellipses in this omission business. If we want to show we've omitted one or more paragraphs, we place four dots or periods (presumably an ellipsis and a period) on a separate line, indented to match the rest of the text.

Like this.

. . . .

See?


Next time I'll address the other uses of the ellipsis, namely its role in informal writing.

The surprising decimal mark

The weather has been unusual this past week, with temperatures averaging about 10 degrees Celsius above average during the day. As a result, I've been busy doing outdoor things instead of working on this blog. The garden needs extra watering, and I'm worried that the poor little goldfish in my pond will overheat.

I live on the west coast of Canada, on Vancouver Island. Normally, early May is cool and wet, but we've had straight sun for days now, with highs of 27C. Our summer weather is rarely this good, so I'm going to enjoy this while I can.

Now, back to work . . . .

I learned far more than I wanted to when I began researching the proper use of the decimal mark (or decimal point).

Because I'm Canadian, and we pretty much follow British customs, I was taught to use a decimal point to separate the integer part of a number from its fractional part, when the number is written in a decimal form. This decimal mark is called a radix point.

The company owed $198,440.50 in back taxes.

The temperature hit 18.5 degrees yesterday.

But what I didn't know until today is that some countries, in certain instances, use a comma instead of a decimal mark to separate the integer from the fractional.

This can be quite confusing to the traveller, especially when trying to make a purchase in a foreign country.

And what's even trickier,  not only is a comma often used as a radix point instead of a decimal point, the symbols used to separate thousandths (in a large number) might vary. Sometimes a space is used, sometimes an upper comma (what is that?), and sometimes decimal marks do the job. It's all too confusing.

For example, here is the same number as it might be written in different parts of the world.

888,888,888.00 (North America)

888 888 888,00 (Brazil and much of Europe)

888.888.888,00 (Brazil and much of Europe)

888'888'888,00 or 888'888'88.00 (Switzerland)

I remember the first time I went to Venice. I was astounded at the number of jewellery stores, windows piled high with glittering stones. But I found I couldn't decode any of the prices. This was before the Euro, and the Italian Lira was a mystery to me: were those diamonds real or were they zirconia? The price couldn't help me. They cost either $3,000 or $300 US--but I couldn't figure it out.
Too many commas, decimal marks and zeroes on the price tag.

Needless to say, I didn't buy a thing.

Periods, dots, decimal points and ellipses

You may think it's redundant to spend time explaining how to use the period, but when you consider the title of this post you'll see there's room for confusion.

The period is probably the first punctuation mark we learned as children. Its concept was, and still is, quite clear. It indicates a full stop at the end of a sentence.

But then things got a little trickier when we were told that a period also follows an abbreviation. Now I understand that this use is waning, perhaps more in Europe than in North America.

So, today we might see either Mr or Mr., Prof or Prof., and either is considered correct. Just be consistent.

Again, a word of warning. If your abbreviation might lead to confusion, best to use a period to make it clearly understood as an abbreviation.

 For example: The third amend. is under revision. (amend. is an abbreviation of amendment).

Be aware that autocorrect will capitalize the letter that follows the period you place after an abbreviation. In the above example, I had to change the "i" of the word "is" to a lower case because autocorrect sensed I was beginning a new sentence and capitalized it.

You'll need to watch out for this kind of error, and amend it. (No period required here because amend is not an abbreviation in this context).

And just in case you didn't know, when typing sentences, it is now correct to leave only one space between them. Years ago, we always used two spaces.

To be continued . . . .

Oops--I lied!

Yes, I told a lie last post. There's one other apostrophe problem I'd like to address before we put the subject of this little punctuation mark to bed.

Many writers are confused about whether or not to place an apostrophe after a possessive name or noun that ends in "s."

For example, is it Charles's suit, or Charles' suit?

The buses' doors are broken. Or is it buses's?

Is the Jones's house sign written as The Jones's or The Jones'?

And if Charles's and Jones's are correct, then do we pronouns both "s" sounds, or not?

The answer to the above questions is frustrating: it depends.

It depends on whether you are writing for a North American or a European audience, and whether or not the name or word in question is modern, biblical or foreign.

Tastes change, and therefore so does proper usage in this matter. We should all adopt some degree of flexibility, and I again suggest that clarity is always the writer's main goal. Consistency comes next.

If you're a true stickler, though, according to Fowler's Modern English Usage, possessive names ending in "s" require an additional "s" after the apostrophe.

So, it's The Jones's, then. Pronounce both "s's."

But if a name is referring to someone from antiquity, only one "s" and an apostrophe will suffice: Herodotus' travels; Ulysses' home.

And if the name ends in an "iz" sound, (as in Ulysses, above) use only one "s" and an apostrophe.

Lastly, Jesus' name, in a possessive form, is always written with only one "s" followed by an apostrophe.

As for the buses, it just sounds silly to pronounce both "s's" in the possessive buses's.
Best to keep it simple, although here you run the danger of confusing a singular bus with a plural: One bus's door was still broken, but two buses' doors had been repaired.

Okay--enough said about the apostrophe. Next time: the period (or dot, as some people like to call it now).

Arghh! Even the best newspapers can't get it right!

I know I said I'm (almost) done with apostrophes, but this one caught my eye today.

From a caption under a photo in The Telegraph:

"The Louvre Abu Dhabi opened it's first permanent collection to the public April 21. It is the largest of France's overseas cultural project."

The odd thing is that when I typed the first sentence, autocorrect didn't change my correct its to the erroneous it's.  A writer must have made that slip.

Can you see another error in the caption?

(Sorry for the earlier mistake I made when I incorrectly named The Guardian instead of The Telegraph as the source of the above errors).

Enough with the apostrophes, already

Okay, there are only two more reasons we might want to use an apostrophe, although these are so similar it seems unnecessary to treat them as distinct.

 First, we need to use an apostrophe when we indicate the plurals of letters and numerals.

Sarah got three B's and two A's on her report card.
Obviously, she's been successful in learning her A,B,C's and her 1,2,3's.

We also need an apostrophe to indicate the plurals of words referred to as words. This is a little trickier.

Think about all the in's and out's we could manage to pull off.

The memo contained three her's which should be changed to their's. (How's this for confusing? Normally we would never write her's or their's, as most possessive pronouns don't require an apostrophe).

Or how about his one?

I'm tired of all the can't's in your excuse.

Best not to go there, I think.

And so now I'm done with apostrophes. Next post I'll run a quick review (good pedagogical practice, I'm told) and move on to something new. (No hints. I want to surprise everyone).

But if you think you haven't had enough of apostrophes, relax. I'll have to revisit them when I discuss pronouns.

Until then...

Apostrophes and the Irish: Use #6

I'm treating this sixth use of the apostrophe separately from the others only because I learned something while I was researching for this blog. I wanted to highlight it so I might be able to remember it.

We all know at least one O'Riley, or O'Neill, or O'Hara and we probably thought, if we thought about it all all, that the apostrophe in these names is a contraction, indicating the omission of the "f" in the word "of." 

Sean O'Riley would be Sean "of" Riley, for example, (meaning Sean is the son and grandson of the senior Riley's).

But, according to Lynn Truss, the "O" in Irish names is an English form of the old Irish word "au," which means "grandson."

So there you go. Who knew?

Apostrophes #5: Strange or non-standard English

In formal writing, such as business letters, academic papers and such, we probably won't use many non-standard  words. But for casual writing, and especially fiction, we can choose from a wealth of unconventional terms to add colour and richness to our expressions.

This is especially the case when we try to write language as it's spoken, such as in dialogue. Here we strive to capture the way speech sounds, rather than articulate the speaker's words correctly. And regional dialects and foreign accents might require the apostrophe to help us more accurately express a speaker's voice.

One classic example is in Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights, where Joseph's speech is still to this day almost unintelligible to me.

When asked where Heathcliff is, he answers, "T' maister's down i' 't fowld." (The master is down in the [sheep]fold).

Here, in trying to capture the character's broad Yorkshire accent, Bronte's has omitted the "he" of "the," (twice) and the "n" of "in." Simple enough, but it still makes for difficult reading.

Often a word is written as we might pronounce it, like wishin', and hopin', and singin' for example.
In each case here the apostrophe indicates that "g," the last letter of the word, is omitted.

Sometimes it's the first letter that's omitted, such as 'ello, or one of the other letters in a word, such as s'pose (suppose).

So you can see that the apostrophe can as versatile as we need it to be when we want to be creative with the English language.

The 4th and most abused/confused apostrophe rule

I say this is the most abused/confused apostrophe rule because of the it's/its problems discussed in one of my first posts. Remember? It's always means it is.

Very few people get this right all of the time. Even I have been known to slip up on occasion. One of my readers noticed this error in my romance novel, Just Desserts. Apparently two editors and the author missed it, and I'll get it fixed ASAP.

But problems don't stop with the it's/its issue. An apostrophe is required to indicate that one or more letters has been omitted from a word. We used to call these words contractions.

Using an apostrophe in a contraction can be quite simple. In words such as o'clock (which hardly anyone uses anymore), the apostrophe indicates the letter f and the word the have been omitted. Apparently, we used to say, "It's one of the clock." Now we just say, "It's one o'clock.")

But it's the common-as-dirt verb contractions that usually trip up writers. Words such as I'm, you're, he's, they're, we've, it's (already mentioned....) and many more.

People often don't, won't and can't remember where to place the apostrophe. They shouldn't be so confused. The apostrophe replaces the omitted letter or letters. When in doubt, avoid the contraction altogether and write out the full two words: I am, you are, he is, they are, it is, etc.

In the above example, omitting the apostrophe mightn't give readers a huge problem, unless they confuse the word cant (leaning) with can't (can not), or wont (inclination) with won't (will not).

It's always better to err on the side of clarity. Besides, in formal writing, we should avoid using contractions. Leave them to informal blogs, chatty emails and fiction.

Apostrophe uses #2 and #3

Okay, we've seen that when we want to indicate possession, the placement of the apostrophe varies. And that placement depends on whether the noun doing the possessing is singular or plural, and ends in "S" or not.

Tricky stuff, and doomed to be mis-corrected by your word processor's autocorrect. (Or word processors', if you have more than one).

So, you're warned. If you want to be absolutely sure you're not making a mistake with your possessive nouns, you have to slow down and really take a hard look at where that apostrophe is placed.

For example, the singular possessive is boy's; the plural possessive is boys'.

Now, the second use of the apostrophe is to indicate time or quantity. Very few people bother to use an apostrophe in this instance.

In a month's time, the house will be sold.
We need two weeks' notice before we can fill the order. (Notice where I placed the apostrophe in this example?)

She ate a dollar's worth of jelly beans.

And a third use for the little apostrophe is to show the omission of numbers in dates. This one should be easy to remember. When we adopt a casual tone in our writing we may say something like this: How could I forget the summer of  '69? Or was it '68?

Only five more apostrophe entries and we're done.

Apostrophes: Use #1

Probably the first time we used an apostrophe in grade school was to show the possessive of a singular noun. We learned to add an "apostrophe S" to a singular noun to show possession.

A seagull stole my son's lunch.

The kitchen's floor and the bedroom's walls needed a good scrubbing.

That's pretty straightforward, right? But instantly we learned that nothing stays simple.
When the possessor is plural, and does not end in "S," we still add an "apostrophe S," but if the possessor is plural and ends in "S," the apostrophe is placed after the "S."

The men's team will play first.

Our boys' team won the trophy.

Isn't this one simple rule enough to make most writers throw up their hands and give up trying to place the apostrophe in the right place?

Near my town there's a big sign on a lot that sells motor homes and other recreational vehicles. It says  Big Boy's Toys. Now, did the owner who commissioned the sign really intend to tell the world that he's selling toys for just one, particular big boy? Surely he carries enough stock for a number of big boys.

It's all really very simple, isn't it?

Yes, I'm still talking about the "its/it's" dilemma. To make it even trickier these days, when you want to type "its," autocorrect will usually change it into the incorrect "it's."

What?

It's all about context. Autocorrect doesn't always recognize context. Or to put it more simply, the way you use "it's/its" in you sentence will determine whether or not autocorrect replaces it with a correct form or an error.

Remember, when you use "it's" as a contraction of the pronoun "it" and the verb "is," you require an apostrophe to indicate the letter "i" has been removed.

And when you use "its" as a possessive pronoun, no apostrophe is required. Only you, as the writer, know what you mean to say. Autocorrect does not. It just does what it's been programmed to do.

This means that the chance of making an apostrophe error as you fire off a text or email is huge. If you care about using the language properly, you have to slow down and reread what you've written and actually ask yourself if you want your "it's" to mean "it is."

If not, you have to use "its."

For example:

It's pretty good for a frozen pizza. (It is pretty good...).

But its crust was soggy. (The crust that belonged to the pizza was soggy).

In the last example, autocorrect erroneously corrected my word "its" to "it's." I had to manually change it (or else turn autocorrect off).

So you see, not understanding the rules is just one reason so many people make errors with apostrophes. And technology isn't making it any easier for us to get it right.

Apostrophes 101

I like apostrophes a lot.  But then I like all punctuation marks. The reason I like apostrophes so much, though, is because the people who use them often tend to use them too enthusiastically.

Haven't we all see signs advertising "Wine's and Spirit's"?  "Bacon, Egg's and Pancake's"?

And then there are the people who seem to be afraid of the little squiggle and don't use apostrophes at all. You know, the folks who type "cant" for "can't" and "an hours wages" instead of "an hour's wages"?

The apostrophe is a crooked little mark that looks exactly like a comma, but, of course, plays a much different role. As I've already said, the apostrophe is used in eight different applications, and perhaps that's why it's misused so regularly.

Inevitably, when you look at websites that feature funny punctuation errors in signage, most of the mistakes involve apostrophes. "Its" and "it's" are probably the most regularly confused words in the English language,

And rightly so. They look almost identical, don't they?

But their meaning is worlds apart.

I'm sure nobody cares when I confess that my pet peeve as a teacher is the misuse of these two words. But it really bugs me that almost no one gets them right (consistently right, I mean). Of course "autocorrect" often makes these mistakes for you, and it takes an astute writer to keep checking that his correct word hasn't automatically morphed into an incorrect form.

But really, it's all very simple.

"Its" is always the possessive form of the gender neutral pronoun "it."

Oregon is coastal and its climate is variable.
Why don't you plan to visit its main tourist spots?

"It's" is always a contraction of two words: "it"and "is."  Period.

See? Simple.

The weather outside is frightful. It's going to rain buckets. (It is going to rain buckets).
It's always a good idea to carry an umbrella when it's threatening rain.
(It is always a good idea to carry an umbrella when it is threatening rain).

At least I didn't have to remove the apostrophes

As I mentioned in my last post, I was feeling a bit down in the mouth because I had to edit out much of the fancy punctuation when I prepared my novels for publication as ebooks. (By "fancy punctuation" I mean parentheses, colons, and semicolons). Apparently these mess with the electronic scanners or something like that. But, I suspect the other reason for omitting these fancy-pants punctuation marks is because they tend to mess up a reader's head.

My twenty-plus years of teaching composition have taught me that people don't understand colons and semicolons. When they run into one or the other they often feel a slight confusion, at best, or panic. Parentheses, on the other hand, are a little easier on the brain. But I had to remove  all of them from my work. This meant no complex sentences, no compound-complex sentences; I couldn't use an anticipatory introductory phrase to introduce a sentence, either. And definitely no aside comments (personal or otherwise) imbedded anywhere in the text.

So what's left?

Commas. I can still do commas. But not too many of them. Too many mess up a reader's head.

Of course apostrophes are permitted. Why? Because they are absolutely necessary to comprehension.

And that brings me to the subject of my first punctuation posting: apostrophes really do matter and you should learn how to use them.

According to Lynne Truss (Eats, Shoots & Leaves) the apostrophe made its debut in English in the sixteenth century. Back then, it was used only to indicate omitted letters in a word: "don't" and "o'clock," for example.  In Greek, the word apostrophe means "turning away" or "omission."

 It wasn't until the seventeenth century that the apostrophe began to be used to indicate the possessive case. Today, the apostrophe's burden is a heavy one, serving no fewer than eight functions.

In my next posting, I'll begin to run through all eight. I welcome any good examples of proper or improper use of the poor misunderstood apostrophe.

I've Got the Punctuation Blues

This week has been horrendously busy, as the last week of winter often is. Spring cleaning for house guests, getting out into the garden to clean up the mess of winter storms, and editing most of the punctuation out of my last novel have collectively just about done me in.

Most people understand the first two chores, but might wonder why I have to edit out most of the punctuation in my novel.

Because most readers today don't understand those pesky little dots and squiggles we writers like to stick between the letters of our words (apostrophes and hyphens) and the words of our sentences (semi-colons, colons, parentheses, dashes, etc.).

I'm an English teacher. I've taught college students the why's and how's of those dots and squiggles for many years. And now I'm going to blog about punctuation--the lost art.

I'll discuss why punctuation is important, and give lots of clear, concise examples of correct and incorrect usage. Readers should be understand the difference between a hyphen and a dash,  single vs. double quotation marks, and where to place the darned period when writing a line of dialogue.

Because, with the enormous number of people using text to communicate, correct punctuation is more important than ever.